Dear Writer’s Block,
You’re like that unexpected guest who always overstays his welcome. I dread your arrival more than I dread the arrival of my periods, and that’s saying something. I’m sure when you started out, writers brushed you off like, let me just get some fresh air, may be the words will come then. But with time you grew so notorious that they had to give you a name. Writer’s Block. Like they name serial killers after they’ve done one too many murders.
I don’t hate you, I despise you. Do you know how hard it is to not be able to put down what you feel on paper? It’s like being trapped inside your own head. Forget writing thought-provoking, emotionally charged or exemplary literary pieces, even my diary entries take a hit. Sample this, “Life really sucks right now. Hope things get better. May the force be with me.” Ending with a clichéd pop culture reference from a franchise that I don’t even follow. Amazing, isn’t it? Nope.
What do you have against words? As the great Dumbledore said, “Words are our most inexhaustible source of magic.” AND DUMBLEDORE IS NEVER WRONG! (Okay maybe only when he’s being a manipulative bitch to Harry) Wait, where was I? See, going off topic plus unnecessary use of uppercase letters and parentheses; you really bring out the worst in me. Can you read the title? ‘A Letter To Writer’s Block’. I mean I couldn’t even bring myself to come up with something even slightly interesting like ‘Writer’s Unblock’. Or ‘That Which Shall Not Be Written’. Or ‘Can’t Write, Will Rant’.
All I’m saying is writers are good people. They’re trying to change the world, one word at a time. And you have no right to interfere. I’ll be very elaborate – fuck you. I’m going to write, block or no block.
Not even signing off.